A foot soldier in the battle of the sexes
Matthew Klam doesn't dislike women, he just writes that way
By Deirdre Dolan
Matthew Klam writes stories about men and women and relationships with such unrelenting honesty and understanding it sounds like abuse. In a story about a couple attending a preppy East Coast wedding he writes: "At the other end of the lawn I spotted Phylida chewing; her mouth was full and she waved her hand furiously through the air at me in an exaggerated gleeful way -- there was no sorrow in her jaw. I didn't have the money to marry that girl. Originally I liked her because she looked dumb. I didn't know she was a doctor."
Named one of the twenty best young fiction writers in the United States last year by The New Yorker, Klam has just released a collection of stories called Sam the Cat and Other Stories. His non-fiction has been featured in Harper's and The New York Times Magazine, and are available on his Web site at matthewklam.com.
WHAT DO THE STORIES IN THIS COLLECTION HAVE IN COMMON?
They're all about trying to keep a relationship together. And they're all fairly honest about the fact that men's crap -- virility and ambition and jealousy and getting ahead -- are also tied into sex and aggression. The same stuff you find when you go to the shrink.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE WAR OF THE SEXES?
This war between the sexes is real, people are just afraid to talk about it.
WHY ARE THE MEN IN YOUR STORIES SO HUNG UP WITH ENVY AND JEALOUSY AND SUPERFICIAL SIGNS OF WEALTH?
It's not all their fault. The problem is, men have no self-esteem, but it's an unfair world in that men need status. It's a bewildering thing. A woman can get an enormous amount of satisfaction from her work, but men for the most part want to be a success.
ALL OF THEM?
My friends, or at least the guys I end up being friends with, have a certain misunderstanding about how to be nice. I think that's kind of common. Men are cretins and they really do need to get laid, and the other stuff can hopefully help to keep things good -- being mindful and dedicated to another person. I'm a progressive guy, I respect this person, but what's back in there is primitive wiring. and you can't fake it.
HAVE YOU BEEN ACCUSED OF NOT LIKING WOMEN?
I've only gotten the misogynist rap in The Kirkus Review, and, frankly, I was surprised I didn't get more of it. I think these stories are strong medicine. I have to really throw some cold water in peoples' faces to get them to listen. So, I make these stereotypical male characters, guys who are really taking out their aggression on women, because I think it is an exaggerated version of how all men relate, in some form, or in opposition, to those impulses. I'm always surprised, though, that I don't offend more people. And if someone said 'You're a misogynist and you hurt me,' I would say I'm sorry.
WHY HAVE VERY FEW MALE WRITERS BEEN ABLE TO WRITE CONVINCING FEMALE CHARACTERS?
I think men think women are from alien substance. People think I'm so defended about men, but there are so many men out there writing, and they're those nice men who are actually full of shit. They're the ones jacking off to Internet porn every five seconds.
DID SOMETHING INSPIRE YOU TO TRY WRITING ONE OF THE STORIES IN A WOMAN'S VOICE?
I had read John O'Hara's Appointment in Samarra, and then I wrote European Wedding and was very excited. It feels like a lot of possibility. I have high hopes for writing in the third person.
HOW HAS YOUR METHOD OF WRITING CHANGED?
My method in the beginning was to have no method. Then it was to write, like, a three-page short story and put it on a shelf for a year and take it back down and expand it to 30 pages. Then I started to write down every single thought that came into my head and put all the notes in a garbage bag. But mostly it's like, Jesus Christ, I've just got to start.
WHICH STORY DO YOU LIKE BEST?
Concept-wise, I loved writing the story about the abortion, because I thought it was really important to tell it from the guy's point of view. If you've ever been to one of these places [abortion clinics], it's not like there's Field and Stream in the waiting room. I wouldn't say it's a man-hating environment, but it's like, 'They caused this trouble, and now we have to fix it.' I think the narrators in my stories pick up on the disenfranchisement of maleness. Men have made enough mistakes that they've been asked to leave.
WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO BE A WRITER?
I was going to go to the University of Pennsylvania for international relations. I was going to try to do stuff in like public policy at the state level.
THAT REMINDS ME OF BOB, IN "ISSUES I DEALT WITH IN THERAPY," WHO "WANTED TO HELP BLACK PEOPLE STRAIGHTEN OUT THE MESS."
Yeah. I wanted to see if I could help change some of the public institutions in a city like Philadelphia.
SO WHY DIDN'T YOU?
There was a friend of my dad's at my house the night the guy called to tell me I'd gotten in, and he said, 'Why give away $20,000 a year when you can come work at my magazine and learn how to write publishable copy?' So that's when I gave up on that one. I didn't have a lot of conviction. I thought I did.
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON NOW?
I'm working on a novel and writing magazine pieces.
DO YOU SORT OF FEEL LIKE YOU'VE NAILED THE SHORT STORY?
There's no trick. And once you figure it out, you're done. You can't go abandoning what you're good at. It's a confession that you don't know what you're about. I think it's stupid when people like Keanu Reeves join bands. He shouldn't. He found something to get paid for that he's good at.
DID YOU USED TO THINK MEN AND WOMEN WERE MORE ALIKE?
I would never think that women were more alike. I might be a chatty Cathy, but in general men don't talk well. One of the things I worked out in writing these stories was the amount of aggression that's tied to being in love with somebody. It's part of life. But if you can allow for the fact that there are these uncomfortable feelings that go along with being in love with someone, you can get over it.
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING MARRIED?
Overall, it's a good thing to do. The hard part is when you realize it doesn't change that much. Life doesn't change that much even though you love somebody. I picked someone good. She has a high goal about what a union should be. The day before our anniversary this year, we spent every minute together until the end of the day and then, excuse me for being graphic, we made love and it was great and I was like, 'How did you think of this?'
WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE THINK OF YOUR STORIES?
She wants to be depicted. People do. We're whorish. But more and more Lara thinks, 'I hope you're not going to spend the rest of your life taking cheap shots at me.'
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